Choose Risk

“To dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.”
--Soren Kierkegaard

I spent my weekend indulging in nostalgia, scanning-and-posting pictures of old adventures and twenty year old family photos onto my private Face Book account. One album contained photos of my climbing adventures: in the past few years I summitted Mt. Adams, Mt. Baker, Mt. Olympus, and Mt. Rainier as well as a 13,000’ peak (Warminwanusqua) on the Inca Trail enroute to Machu Picchu. Upon viewing my album, an old high school friend commented that I certainly lived life to its fullest. I contemplated leaving it at that, because I certainly try to live life to its fullest, but it didn’t feel completely honest to me to make it seem like I am simply an adventurer, motivated by adrenalin alone. Instead, I believe that the biggest part of living life to its fullest is daring to do that which terrifies you. I climbed those mountains because friends inspired me, and because I wanted to push myself outside my comfort zone.

Mark Twain once said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear...” Each of those climbs forced me to face my own fear and keep going if I wanted to make it to the top. On the Rainier summit, it was my feelings of responsibility to the mostly rookie team that overrode my fear. On Olympus, it was sheer determination and the choice to place my life and my trust in my brother’s hands that allowed me to scramble and rappel up the last few hundred feet despite the 1000’ foot drop to my left side. On Mt. Adams, my first summit, my friend and guide coaxed and cajoled me over a particularly rocky spot with crevasses too close for comfort beneath me. Each of those climbs brought me to tears at one point, but I got through it by remembering to breathe and to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.

I believe nearly everyone experiences deep wounds or dark nights when life seems unbearably painful. In my experience, when you are living those moments, the best response is to simply breathe, put one foot in front of the other, and get through each day. Friends, family, and even your version of God may seem too far away, or too intangible for comfort. But time always passes, and even the deepest wounds heal if you bring them into the light. Think of all your favorite stories. All the greatest heroes had to go through the shadows in order to come out into the light. Each time they win a battle, they come out stronger and more confident, more ready to take on the next challenge.

I encourage you to look at your life as a hero’s journey, and remember that fear is always based either on experiences from the past or an imagined future state. There is no fear in the present moment. In each moment, there is only choice. As Soren Kierkegaard said, you might lose your footing temporarily, but if you don’t risk, you lose yourself.

Choose risk. Learn to stand with yourself in discomfort, breathe deeply, and take a small step forward towards your new life.

Embrace the Unexpected

I was on the Peninsula this past weekend, celebrating Thanksgiving with my extended family. Sunday morning, my nephews snuggled on the sofa with me while we watched Monsters vs. Aliens. (Monsters vs. Aliens is an animated film starring the voice of Reese Witherspoon as Susan Murphy, an ordinary woman who is about to get married. On her wedding day, a meteorite strikes her; she absorbs a substance called quantonium, and grows into a giantess.)

I pondered the movie on the way home (I enjoy pondering) and determined that there are several messages in the movie that are important pieces of living a vital life. The first is simply that the unexpected always happens. A meteorite hits Susan on her wedding day! No matter how hard we try to fully control our lives, we can never see completely around the next corner.

The second is when Susan embraces her new life. This is after she successfully defeated the robot, and her fiancé just broke off their engagement because he’s afraid her new life will overshadow his career. At this point, she realizes that she has strengths she didn’t know she had, sees the imperfections in the life that is behind her, and is excited about the possibilities of her new life as a giantess. This transition always occurs in the journey to vital leadership when we fully accept ourselves as we are, realize we have untapped strengths, and can live more vital lives.

Next, Susan loses her super human strength, but overcomes her fear, maintains her courage and intelligence, and outsmarts the Alien’s plan to take over the Earth. This phase comes when you fully own the strengths you’ve always carried, and tap into your emotional battery center (known in its scientific form as the emotional experiential memory, or EEM.) This emotional battery center helps you overcome fear and resistance, which then motivates you to move out of complacency or fear, and into a new phase of life.

Finally, Susan knowingly reabsorbs the quantonium, and regains her giantess stature and strength so she can save her friends and the planet. This phase of our lives occurs when we overcome our fear and resistance to being “different” and fully accept our role as leaders of our lives and in our world.

Vital leadership is a hero’s journey. There will be difficulties, sorrows, fear, challenges, and obstacles to overcome. All heroes and heroines must face their dragons! But true warriors press on, tap into their courage and strengths, and push through to the next challenge. So next time an unexpected obstacle shows up in your life, look for the silver hidden in the cloud. Uncover the lesson, accept the new, and step into the next phase of your journey.